I'm pretty sure Americans still have too much money

Keeping in mind

That my back is to the bank of public access computers as I sit, king-like, upon the throne-like Deskslave chair, the most common question I get from oncoming, would-be Internet users is

(Drumroll, please)

"Any computers open?"

So I have to swivel the aforesaid deluxe Deskslave chair around and take a gander. It's very odd having to gather this information for someone who could just as easily gather it themselves.

Trick Question #459

I placed a hold on a movie for a patron, using the card she had to dig out of her purse. Fifteen minutes later, she was back with another hold request. I asked for her card. "I have to give you my card again?" she asked in the sort of way I would expect if I had asked her to dance naked on the Ref desk.

Trick Question #458

Deskslave unlocks and opens front doors at exactly opening time. Props doors opens, says "hi" to the assembled throng. Begins to retreat into the library.
Patron: "Are you open now?"

Trick Question #457

Where's your scanner at?