Philadelphia - Some Preliminary Observations

• If the tobacco companies go broke, it won't be due to the valiant efforts of the people of Philadelphia.
• Philadelphia pizza is the best thing since New York pizza.
• Philadelphia coffee is the worst thing since New York coffee.

PLA Rule #6

In the main aisle of each presentation, we provide microphones. They have been finely calibrated for a specific purpose, and should be used only for their official purpose. If you currently do not have serious allergies, SARS, an acute upper respiratory infection or bronchitis, please sit at least seven seats from the microphone.

Meet Me at PLA!

OMG, deskslave, you're going to be at PLA? 


Yep. 


What, are you giving a presentation on the role of cynicism in today's library? 


 Nope. 


What are you going to do, then? 


Sit in the back of the room at a few things. 


Then how will we know it's you? 


 I'll be the one avoiding eye contact.

LC: Keeping it Old School

The young man wanted a DVD, not a book, on how to rap. He was probably a freshman in college, fresh-faced, well-groomed and handsome in a way that suggested that most things were given to or done for him. The word insouciant came to mind. In short, just the sort of person we think of when we think "rapper." Sadly, we didn't have any videos like that at all. We did have two books, believe it or not, on the subject, but that both books were checked out. Evidently, the poor lad has been the target of many confidence tricksters in the past and has finally learned his lesson because he asked me three times if I was kidding him. The first time I told him that I was not kidding him. The second time, I said "nope." The third time I told him that asking me would not make any videos appear. I offered him the books, but the look of distaste he shot me before stalking off said it all. But my main point has to do with the subject headings for these books. I still look at subject headings and still find them occasionally useful. They can be annoying, like the subject heading for longshoremen. (That's your LC test for today: what's the subject heading for longshormen? Hint: it's not longshorepersons, but it's equally dumb.) They are also occasionally hilarious, as it was with this one:

Not silly enough for you? Then take this little quiz. What item do the following subject headings describe?

I Finally Thought of the Comeback

We've all had it happen: somebody does something and you're all tongue-tied and 20 minutes later you think of the thing you wish you'd said. For me, this particular one happens every year or two for years and I never know what to say. Until now. Has this ever happened to you? Of course it has: somebody tells you, usually while you're trying to help them with something difficult, "Must be nice to be a librarian--you get to sit around and read books all day." 


I usually splutter out something lame and unconvincing and feel icky about just how much I resent (OK, hate) the person. But today I resolved to say: 


 That's like saying "Must be nice to be a pharmacist--you get to sit around and take drugs all day."

After So Long an Absence

Blogging tradition dictates that after a long absence from posting, the blogger must apologize and offer a reason for the absence. So: sorry. But why? That's tougher. A few months ago, I saw a homeless guy, a regular, somebody I say "hi" to each morning, sitting on one of the not-exactly-comfy comfy chairs reading. He was reading Napoleon Hill's great contribution to society Think and Grow Rich. I wanted to write something about seeing that, something about the irony that wasn't at all funny and couldn't. So I won't write about that, but will start writing about the rest of the quotidian nonsense again soon.

A Medieval Horror, Reference Edition

The young man asked if we had a Medieval Horror. I asked if it was a book or a movie, doing my usual thing, trying to narrow it down since I had no idea what he was talking about. It's a movie evidently, and I went to work on the catalog, but nothing came up. I asked if he knew anybody who was in it. He didn't. I asked him if he knew anything about the plot. He didn't; somebody recommended it.

I asked him if he was sure of the title. He was. I fed him back the stuff he had told me to make sure I had it right. Among the things I said in my summary was, "So it's a horror movie that takes place in Medieval times." He stopped me. It was modern times, from about 20 years ago. He spelled the name of the movie: Amityville Horror. I felt like a jerk.

For the record: We own 2 copies of the movie and 2 of the book, but both of the movies were checked out.

It's Not the Vampires as Much as It's the Homicidal Mechanical Ladybugs

From the jacket copy of Blameless by Jill Carriger

To top it all off, Alexia is attacked by homicidal mechanical ladybugs, indicating, as only ladybugs can, the fact that all of London’s vampires are now very much interested in seeing Alexia quite thoroughly dead.

Gonna give this one a miss. It would be the fourth book in a row with mechanical ladybugs in it for me. And remember: the vampires don't just want Alexia dead, quite dead or thoroughly dead. It's got to be quite thoroughly dead. Got it? Otherwise they wouldn't have sent the mechanical ladybugs. They probably would have just used the mechanical silverfish or mechanical eyelash mites.

Patrons Say the Darndest Things

I was at the Desk with a coworker whom I like working with. She's funny and clever which makes the time go by swiftly. She's smart and knows her job, so there's no extra burden on me. And she's very attractive, so men will trample me to ask her a question which reduces my workload further.

Sadly for her, many guys seem to turn off the editing function of their brains before addressing her. A guy--late thirties, early forties maybe, not too sketchy-looking--came up and said:

"I'm not saying I do...I'm not saying I do, but if I had some kind of weird librarian fantasy, it would take place here because this is such a nice library.

The library seemed less nice after he said that.

Contraceptive Behavior

A long time ago, a friend (Beth, in fact) used that phrase to describe what she saw in the kid's room of the library on a particularly awful day. I thought of that as I saw this:

(Sorry I suck at embedding video)