I'm pretty sure Americans still have too much money

Keeping in mind

That my back is to the bank of public access computers as I sit, king-like, upon the throne-like Deskslave chair, the most common question I get from oncoming, would-be Internet users is

(Drumroll, please)

"Any computers open?"

So I have to swivel the aforesaid deluxe Deskslave chair around and take a gander. It's very odd having to gather this information for someone who could just as easily gather it themselves.

Trick Question #459

I placed a hold on a movie for a patron, using the card she had to dig out of her purse. Fifteen minutes later, she was back with another hold request. I asked for her card. "I have to give you my card again?" she asked in the sort of way I would expect if I had asked her to dance naked on the Ref desk.

Trick Question #458

Deskslave unlocks and opens front doors at exactly opening time. Props doors opens, says "hi" to the assembled throng. Begins to retreat into the library.
Patron: "Are you open now?"

Trick Question #457

Where's your scanner at?

Today's Thought

Here's something to meditate upon, dear readers (all none of you):

What sound is more beautiful than even a baby's laughter? More beautiful than the songbird in spring?

The heavy clunk of the library door shutting behind the last patron.

Actual Cell Phone Conversations

Made By Actual Library Patrons Shortly Before Being Told to Leave the Library By Deskslaves. An Ongoing Series.

[Ringtone]
Hello?
What?
Yeah!
What?
I'm in the Library!
What?
No, the Library!
No! I'M IN THE LIBRARY!
WHAT????

Want to know what I learned today?

I learned that the wacko left wing liberals are opposed to all forms of energy. As a provisional member of that group, one who just plundered the plate of fudge made by a volunteer, I can assure you that many of us are not averse to food energy.

Already sick of Twitter

Just thought you'd like to know.

Last Minute Tax Tip

If you gather a bunch of tax forms at the library and then later decide that you don't want them for whatever reason (losing interest in the whole taxpaying thing, distracted by small, shiny object and/or DVD cover, etc.) just toss them on the floor. Don't worry, some deskslave or other will be more than happy to pick them up.