What I learned today

If you want to make your cell phone quiet and private, leave the main area of the little library, go down the dank hall toward the skanky restrooms and stop right in front of the little holding pen where the DeskSlave and his compatriots huddle at computers when they aren't at the Magical Reference Desk. Then hold forth over the phone in a tone most people use to hail ships across vast expanses of the sea.