Longtime readers (all none of you) may remember a man who used to come in frequently who wanted us to pretty much do everything for him. But he wouldn't come out and ask us. He wanted us to come rescue him of our own accord. He would tap ineffectually at the catalog computer briefly and then say aloud things like, "Oh dear," and "Oh no," and "This is terrible." After the first 8,000 times or so, I deceided I was going to do anything unless he actually acknowledged me and asked a question. He hasn't been around a while, but an elderly woman who is extraordinarily nasty most of the time is chanelling him right now. There she is, tap tap tappin1 and occasionally saying things like, "Hmmm!" and "That's strange."
But if you want the deskslave, you have to summon him rudely, like a decent person.
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I swear on my MLS that this really happened: I might have been pranked, but back in the 80's, our catalog used to beep if you hit certain buttons too many times for the buffer to keep up. I went to help out a customer who was doing just that. His response: "It's about time. I've been hitting this button for five minutes!" Seriously.
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