Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Since I hate you I won't be saying thanks

I was summoned over to the InterWeb after being told that it wasn't working. ("What's wrong with the Internet?" was what she actually said. It was hard not to begin telling her. I have hours worth of material on what's wrong with the IntarWeb.) At moments like that, it's usually a matter of logging in. You have to type in the entire 14-digit barcode and get your password right. But she was in, and everything looked fine; there was the Windows desktop in all its mediocrity. I asked her to show me what was wrong. She pointed at Explorer 's pretty E logo. It looked fine.
"Ummm...what's wrong with it?" I inquired tentatively.
"It doesn't work," she replied in her best talking-to-the-slow-child voice.
"Why don't you show me what you are trying to do."
She moused over to the Explorer logo and gave the mouse two of what can only be described as savage jabs. In between jabs, the mouse moved. Probably trying to escape maltreatment. She looked back at me with a "SEE??" sort of look. I explained the problem and she, in a huffy, exasperated way gave the mouse button another couple jabs to similar effect. I wanted to ask her if she did that to everything and how short the lives of her appliances were, but instead asked her if she wanted me to do it.
She didn't exactly answer, but by moving away from the mouse a little, I took it as a "Yes, please." So I double clicked Explorer for her and it launched right up.
"This is ridiculous," she said to no one in particular and began her important computing session.

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