A Greater Power Than We Can Contradict Hath Thwarted Our Intents. A play in one act

Scene 1. The reference desk at a library in Verona

Patron approaches desk. deskslave looks up.

Patron. I need Romeo and Juliet.
deskslave. (sotto voce) Don’t we all. (aloud) Certainly. Right this way.
(Blackout)

Scene 2. Dusty stacks, in the 800s.

deskslave. Hmmmm…let’s see…here it is! (Retrieves penguin annotated edition from shelves. Begins to pull book.)
Patron. Is that in Spanish?
deskslave. No, English. Do you need Spanish?
Patron. (put out, sighing)Yes. (said sing-songy, multiple syllables)
(Blackout)

Scene 3. Reference desk.

deskslave. (types) Let’s see. (excited) We do have it in Spanish! Right this way!
(Blackout)

Scene 4. Dusty stacks. Spanish language section.

deskslave. (scans shelves) Here it is! (plucks book, hands it over with a flourish) Romeo and Juliet en español!
Patron. (barely glancing at book) I need a DVD.
(Blackout)

Scene 4.

Dusty stacks. 800s.

deskslave. (morale flagging) We have the Zeffirelli version as well as the BBC.
Patron. Which one is the modern one?
deskslave. Zeffirelli was in the late sixties. I think the BBC was in the 80s.
Patron. Which one has Leonardo DiCaprio in it?
deskslave. (bleakly) Neither. Let’s go back to the desk and see if we have that one.
Patron. (sighs theatrically)
deskslave. This day's black fate on more days doth depend: This but begins the woe others must end.
Patron. What?
deskslave. Nothing.
(Blackout)