Caught

I realize that your print job was Very Important and that it had Sensitive Information on it. I further realize that you cannot be blamed for not understanding how our hideously counterintuitive photocopier/printer works (or doesn't) and that it is NOT YOUR FAULT that you closed this ultraimportant document without saving it or making sure it actually printed. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I take full responsibility for the situation. It's clearly my fault, so, in the interests of fairness please feel free to abuse me personally for any frustration you may be experiencing. I seriously don't know what the heck I was thinking when I wired our network. I guess I just wasn't thinking and made a few mistakes. Or maybe it was when I programmed the router. Or when I designed the pathetically inadequate Xerox Document Center combination copier/printer and then, in a fit of insanity put a gun to the library director's head and made him both a) buy my poorly designed piece of you-know-what and b) hire me to sit near it, so that I could enjoy the fruits of my evil. But now you have caught me and I humbly bow my head and meekly accept the condign punishments you shower upon me.