Friday, April 9, 2010

Attention...Your Attention Please...Attention

Don’t use self-check machine number two until further notice. See that pudgy guy over there in the red jacket? He just sneezed a big fat juicy bluster of mouth spew all over it. I mean it. It was a real collosal, eyes closed, head-back-for-maximum-distance, swing-for-the-fences delivery. Very loud and articulated "choo!" noise, too. If sneezing were a sport, you can bet he'd be the Shaun White of mucosa distribution. He'd make America proud.

That is all. You may now return to looking through the exact same DVDs you looked through yesterday. And the day before.

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