Introducing Another Nonexistent Service We Don't Offer, Apparently an Ongoing Series

He tossed his library card onto the desk before me as though it was an AmEx Black Card. He was not looking at me, but rather off to the side. Perhaps into the future, sizing up his conquests, considering mergers and acquisitions peons such I can only dream of. “I need the fax,” I was informed.

“Uh…we don’t have one.”

Finally, he graced me with his gaze. But it was a withering gaze. He squinted like Clint Eastwood did in the Westerns all those years ago. “You don’t have one,” he repeated. His voice affectless. I think it was meant to convey sarcasm. Or maybe he is on the autistic spectrum. Who knows.

I’m not sure where people got the idea that we're Office Depot. I get asked for the fax every week or so. More often than people asking to buy stamps or the very books on the shelves. It makes sense, I guess, to have a fax available. I think the IT department would object for some reason since they seem to object to installing any new equipment that consumes electricity. But being a good information professional, I cheerfully handed my new friend the "Where to Send a Fax" handout. It details locations, phone numbers and even prices charged by nearby businesses that would love to fax your document. I updated it recently myself. In any event, to me it was a tick mark on the tally sheet of reference interactions. To him, it was something else entirely